Last weekend, Ryan, Ian and I went to visit Burlington, Iowa again. This time though, we went to see the church, and do the whole interview thing. I'll be honest, the trip was a little overwhelming for me. My heart has been somewhat of a wreck the past week or so. I guess several huge changes in life will do that to you.
To save you all the details of my turmoil, Ryan and I came home after visiting Heritage Free Methodist Church and we took a couple days to pray diligently about whether or not this is where God wanted us to be. I wanted to be so sure. Honestly, I think I was just trying to cling to whatever little shred of "same-ness" that remained in my life. I think that stubborn clinging had hardened my heart a bit regarding the opportunity before us.
After much prayer and deliberation, I finally admitted to myself that God really does have a purpose for us Klein's in Burlington. Especially now that I've resigned myself to God's plan (and I don't say resign with any kind of negative connotation. This is the way it should be), I see how His Spirit has so clearly put this opportunity in front of us.
On Tuesday, Ryan called Superintendent Adams to tell him he would accept the position as pastor of Heritage FMC. That night, the delegate called and asked if we would be ready to move on October 6th. That was just over a week away. I freaked out a bit (probably that stubbornness again), and asked if we could do the 10th instead. Not much longer, but I thought that maybe those 4 extra days would make the very quick transition just a little easier. So, on October 10th, the people of Heritage FMC are bringing a caravan of trucks, and helping Ryan and I move from our little duplex in Janesville, to our new home in Burlington, Iowa.
This was exciting news, but a little overwhelming as well. (Can something really be a little overwhelming? Probably not...it's just plain overwhelming.) The changes just hit me again like a tidal wave and I was finally washed away on Thursday. It was like nothing in my heart or head wanted to go right that day. I was trying to keep myself under control, trying to pack boxes, trying to be excited about moving and everything that was ahead, and it just wasn't working. I was so irritable, and after picking a stupid fight with Ryan, I just cried and cried and let it all out. I cried for the loss of our job, for the loss of Adaiah, for the loss of Janesville, but mostly just for the loss of what I had grown used to. Change can be pretty difficult for me sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean almost always). I believe God brought healing through those tears. It was like after the dam broke, I was able to move on a little.
So here I sit on a Saturday night/Sunday morning, the boxes steadily piling up around the house, and I am resting secure in knowing that the Holy Spirit has prepared and led us to this next step in our journey. He has gone before us, and will go with us. I am excited to see what God will accomplish through Ryan as he takes on this pastorate. And I am glad I get to be part of the adventure.
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:12-14
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