Adaiah would have been 17 weeks today. We would have been just a couple weeks from finding out if we were having a boy or girl. I ache for the baby missing from my womb.
July 2nd - I couldn't wait any longer to take a pregnancy test. I had a feeling I was pregnant for a couple of weeks, but it was too soon to test. But Jr. Camp was over, I was back with my family, and I just couldn't wait any longer to find out if I really was carrying another little life. I took 3 inconclusive pregnancy tests (we just couldn't tell if that little pink line was there or not), then finally went out to the store to buy one of the digital ones that said "pregnant" or "not pregnant." Ryan and I stood waiting for the result. "Pregnant." We were so excited. Beaming and hugging each other there in our little bathroom.
I was so excited to be pregnant again. I couldn't wait to see Ian as a big brother. I looked forward to the sound of children in my home. What a blessing it was going to be - growing our family. Perfection.
Twelve weeks is was so short a time to have with my baby. It wasn't really long enough to learn much. We don't know if Adaiah is a boy or girl. I never got to feel the hiccups, rolls or kicks. What I do know though, is that I will always remember my baby. Twelve weeks may be short, but those 12 weeks left a lasting impression on my life. I hold Adaiah's heart in my own. I will honor his/her life. I will remember my sweet Adaiah on October 15th, and every day. And my hope is that others will too.
Sweet Adaiah, I wish I could have had you longer. I'm sad that Ian will never get to meet you here. He's a great big brother. I know you two would have had lots of fun if you had made it here to us. I'm so thankful that I had you for at least a little while. I hope you know how wanted and how loved you were from the very start. I love you still, my baby. You're always in my heart, and I'm so glad to be your mama. I'm so glad for you that you get to be with Jesus, and didn't have to experience any sorrow and pain. I'm sad for all of us here who didn't get to meet you, but we will some day. I can't wait for that day. I love you so much, precious baby. <3 Mama
i think of Adaiah often and of you and Ryan. My heart really does break for you guys. i love you so very much and wish I could give you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteAdaiah, Grammy wishes she could have held you in my arms and saw you grow. I too think of you daily and am grateful to be your grandma. Your family here on earth can't wait to meet you in heaven and I know that your great-grandparents in heaven and Jesus have you with them.
ReplyDeleteRachel you are the strongest most gracious young lady I know. You just make me so proud to be your mother-in-law.